someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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