Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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