Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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