they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
