Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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