Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
