he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
