it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
