grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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