I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
