Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
