My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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