I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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