we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize