in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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