Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so let's talk penis.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
