I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
