I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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