Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
