He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
