his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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