If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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