hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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