i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
