thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
