Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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