Screwed.edu
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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