I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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