Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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