U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
