Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
