You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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