Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
