im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
