Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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