her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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