remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
