You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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