just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
