My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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