hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i will never coherently bang her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
