I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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