Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
