she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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