Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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