I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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