i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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