just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
