So drunk its hurt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize