you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
