FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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