I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
