god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
