yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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