You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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