If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
