She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
