did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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