Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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