my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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