there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
