sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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