Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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