There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
