He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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