yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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