...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
