so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
