Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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