my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
