I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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