Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
