Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
