i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just had sex on a roof
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
