dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
