I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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