My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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