what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
