so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
