so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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