its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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