do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
