Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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