just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
